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yesterday, yesterday was the scariest day out of my life in my entire relationship. i dont know whats happening. i dont know why its happening. not only yesterday, but most of the time, like everyyyyyday. yes, i am sad. fucking sad. fucking disappointed. everything seems to be different yesterday. you turned out to be like one mad hungry monster. im really fucking sad. i need you to be the one hugging me and telling me that everything will be okay, but its opposite, youre the one who is scaring the shit out of my life. i dont know who else i can share what im feeling right now. if i would tell the others, they will reject you right now. see. look at what happened now. in life, we've gotto accept the changes. yes i am. i am trying. im about to, but when i look at those pictures, i collapsed. no one knows how im feeling. someone saw you just now, and they wont allow me to meet you. but i feel like bumping onto you. seriously, just a little catch of your actions will do. eventually, i din get a chance. i see you nowhere.

dance. earlier, i had dance class. a class to test and see our technics. i was selected by my incharge to go to this audition and class to train up my skills and fly to Genting fo a competition to represent Singapore in international dance competition. we did ballet in the morning. yes, i wasnt good in modern ballet. but the musicss made me feel comfortable dancing despite the depression and stress i had yesterday. lessons over. we had another instructor in the studio. this time, we gonne have lyrical class. a very very veryyy emo class. hell yea. this is the shittest moment. not the perfect time fo me to dance lyrical. we were given a piece of choreo and dance it to the class. i did mine perfectly, everyone's clapping and cheering fo me. everyone appreciates my dance, did you? sadly, you feels much better looking at me quitting dance class. sigh. its okay. then, the instructor told us that she'll be giving us 20mins to dance, freestyle in lyrical moments and think about a FRIENDSHIP. holly shark. I SWEAR, I DID SWALLOW A WHOLE THICK SALIVA IN MY THROAT! its not that i cant freestyle, its just not the correct time. but i cant do anything. i still got to. so i did. 20 mins past, and i collapsed. tears rolling down my cheeck when im dancing. seriously, it does. i cant control myself. im weak. im really weak. i need you. but now, look, we cant do anything to mend it. nothing, anymore. my friends were there. they hugged me. they wipe off my tears. the instructor was proud cause i feel the dance. and some even cried with me, fo us. see. HOW CAN YOU STILL HATE MY FRIENDS???????!!!!! im fucking disappointed with you.

now, everything changed. everything. i feel down, i dont feel like talking to you. my parents were mad at me. my friends are lecturing me. no one knows how i feel. now everything is left unsaid. the question now. WHY MUST I ALWAYS GET THIS KIND OF RETURN IN EVERY RELATIONSHIPS???? WHAT WRONG HAVE I DONE????

pictures are just left to be memories. sigh :'(









I hope you guys could realize why a girl would actually cry so much fo you.

:(

IM A MESS.


Yes, I can never be that good fo you. I can never be the best fo you. But atleast I tried, cause I love you so much and I never doubt that.

Sincerely,
your gf.

Dear God,
please give me more strength in facing all this. I just dont want it happen again Im begging you.

:'(




If I have one wish, Ill wish that you can be a lil' bit of understanding and give me supports in whatever I do from you. Cause yknow I wont cheat on you and Ill always love you.



Love you so much,
your dearest daughter.





Its better to talk things out instead of keeping things bottled up. Yes. Thats what ive been doing. Well, today was the most memorable day. Really, it meant alot to me. I really treasure my relationship so much. I never felt and behave this way before, but now, after I met my boyfriend, I really feel treasured. True, every relationships have ups and down. Tears. Normally, the girls, are the weakest ones. But it doesnt means we shed our tears to get sympathy from our boyfriend, we shed our tears cause we really need them in our life. Appreciate, is another thing. I really do appreciate my boyfriend. Be it from love, sacrifices, time and many more. He really did shower me with lots of love. I swear, I never felt this way before. Never did any of my ex's did treat me like how he did. From the bottom of my heart, I really love my boyfriend, Khairil Amri. Very much. And I wont even think of leaving him, never do I. Yes you people may think its still early, but this is what I can sense so far. I really do.



Me: Dad, how can I be sure if a guy really likes me or not?
Dad: If a guy really likes you, he would do whatever it takes to be yours. You see, there are two kinds of "being interested". One is, when a guy likes you but has his heart open to other girls. This is the kind that isn't so serious about being serious. The other kind of "being interested" is the kind that I want a guy to be interested in you. This is the kind whose eyes are set on you, and only you. No other girls. The one that sends you those long text messages on how much he means to you, gives you goodmorning and goodnight calls telling you to have a good day and to have sweet dreams. If a guy really wants to you to be his, he wouldn't be ashamed to introduce you his friends and even better, his family. I would want you to have a guy that when he looks into my daughter's eyes, he feels like he doesn't belong anywhere else but your heart.

- Copied from Tumblr.

crashed.

I hope you guys could realize why a girl would act...
sincerly.
Confused
Just one wish.
YOURE GETTING OLDER DADDY!

Memorable.
You want a guy's perspective? Ask your Dad.

i wrap my world in you
all you can think is yourself
this is a time i have to leave
i'm in this by my self


Fourteen May Nineteen Ninety-Two.
Dance, Nails, Design.
Rhythmic Souls Crew <3